Because of the wind
and chop, I was concerned about the boat, although not really
afraid. I thought about the fact that I always wore a life jacket,
and although I knew it would keep me afloat, it wouldn’t protect me from the cold water. The chop increased to gentle waves. They nudged from the north, lapping against the port side of the boat where I had tied the anchor to the oarlock. I knew I shouldn’t do this because it sets the boat to take current and waves on the beam instead of the bow, but the water wasn’t so rough that I thought it would be a problem. Beyond taking my normal precautions, I didn’t give it much thought—I was just fishing in conditions that I’d
fished in many times before.
Quite abruptly, things went very wrong.
It happened so quickly that it was almost impossible for me to
register exactly what happened. A lot of water poured into the
boat. I seem to remember it coming over the starboard gunwale,
although logic would indicate that water would have come in on
the port side, where the anchor was tied and where the waves were
striking. The 10 inches of water in the bottom of the boat sloshed
back and forth. I scrambled to keep the boat level, but it didn’t
work. The boat flipped over, and suddenly, I was in the water.
I was amazed at how quickly it happened.
I felt no panic. Instead, I immediately and clearly understood several things: The situation was very bad; I was fully immersed in the water; in these cold waters hypothermia would steal my ability to function in a matter of minutes; my chances for survival were slim.
I could bear it for the moment. I remembered reading some time
ago, “There is no good way to die.” I thought about William Colby, the former CIA director who had arteriosclerosis and made the decision to launch his canoe into a strong breeze from the shore of a Potomac River tributary. He didn’t come back. I’ve always had admiration for him because, at 76 and in poor health, he chose his way to die. I thought about myself at 70 years old, and how I had a plan to make it 10 more years, still being able to enjoy life. I’d
shared this plan with Jeanelle. Like Colby, I may decide to die
sometime, but this was not the time.
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